Miscarriage

Miscarriage is different for every woman who experiences it. But as I’ve walked through it myself, I’ve found that there are some definite similarities in every circumstance. A kinship of sorts, that no one asked for…

My stories are real and raw. And I’ll probably be adding more to the list below as I walk this road, so please feel free to check back from time-to-time. I’m not done with my grieving, maybe you are. But if my story, my feelings, could bless even one person along the way…

I’m working hard to see this process through the lense of God’s Word, but there may be times when honesty makes me confess that I don’t want to trust God, hear Him or choose Him.

Thankfully, He has chosen me.

And somewhere deep down inside, I believe that this is enough to get me safely through.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, {nor losing my baby}, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39 {Emphasis and additional words mine}.

Miscarriage is different for every woman who experiences it. But sometimes it helps to read about another person's experience just to know you're not alone and that your feelings are normal...

To read my story from beginning to its current state, please follow the links below.

My heart will choose to say

“After our first OB appointment on Wednesday, my husband and I found out that the newest addition to our family would never join our family this side of heaven. At seven (almost eight) weeks gestation, our sweet little one had no heartbeat and the yolk sac, usually a sign of normal, healthy pregnancy, was flat instead of round.”

My jeans don’t fit…

“This, coupled with the fact that I don’t have any morning sickness anymore are the only two things that remind me of what’s happening inside of my body right now. It’s weird to know that my child is in heaven, but his body is still inside of me.”

The secret club

“My confession of miscarriage has unintentionally placed me in a club that a staggering number of women would give anything to exit…I had no idea. Statistics like “one in six,” just look like numbers until the hearts behind them start to email you up to the hundreds.”

Empty and full

“It’s fall in Virginia. The leaves are falling, rain gently coaxing them from their perches. In my house, candles flicker, coffee’s brewing, cookies are smelling up the house…

…and I’m no longer pregnant.

Intense pain five hours long on Tuesday and a visit to the OB today confirms it.”

That man {not my Savior}

“Throughout the time before, during, and now after my miscarriage, I’ve felt God sustaining me, speaking gently to me, and holding me close…tight. But I’ve wanted my husband to save me. I’ve wanted his strength to pull me from this – death’s grip and breathe life back into me…”

After miscarriage {would I trade it all for heaven?}

“A cruel turn of the weather makes it happen.

The changing of the seasons that brings the changing of the clothes. And beautiful baby boy clothes left for too long in drawers, now too small for anyone, must be put away. Because there won’t be a baby to wear them this April.”

Why me?

“You know from reading my story that I was desperate to avoid a D & C procedure. I had my reasons…but mainly just didn’t think I could emotionally handle that ending as well as a natural one. God answered my specific prayer by allowing my body to miscarry on September 20th at 10 PM. But why?”

He’s too busy worshipping  

It’s Thursday and his name is Alex…

One Year After a Miscarriage

In three days it will be a year since we lost our third child, and I’m trying to find a way to process all that God’s taught me since he slipped away. It hasn’t been an easy year. I’ve handled some things well, and other things with an acute lack of grace. Some days have been filled with joy, others with pain. I have friendships that are stronger now, and others that might not make it.

But I have learned a few things over the last 362 days.

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There’s an entire chapter in my book Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess devoted to my journey of healing after miscarriage. It’s an honest look at some of the hardest days of my life, and the most challenging questions I’ve ever asked God about life on this earth. You can order it here for Kindle, and here as a paperback. And if you need to, just skip right to the chapter entitled When Life Hurts Too Much…because friend…sometimes it just does.

Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You In Your Mess (FREE for Amazon Kindle TODAY only 4/16/13)