I wish I could remember the exact words.
I was sitting downstairs on my couch. It was getting late and I think I had my Bible next to me, my computer on my lap. I had been blogging. Or reading. Whatever I was doing, at the same time, I was wrestling with God about one of my part-time jobs.
You see, in the few days leading up to this, I had drawn this tree. On each branch, I had labeled something that I was actively involved in doing. I had been feeling overwhelmed and needed to heed God’s call to prune. But what to give up? As my eyes had passed over each branch, I knew that there were some branches that no longer had life in them. They were simply dead weight for me. Burdensome. I knew that if I continued to keep them, I would remain in this drowning, gasping-for-air state of life, but I also knew I would be cutting myself off from income as well.
There is a reason why Jesus says this:
“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6: 24
Could I surrender the security of having extra cash to the One who is called Provider? Could I lay down a part of my past for which I had spent my entire college career preparing? Could I give up this part of my identity that I had thought I wanted since I was a mere second-grader?
I laid out all from which I was walking away. And in a breath, I turned on my heel. I chose to leave behind my fears of “what my father might say” and “how are we going to pay for this?” I chose to press into the will of my Father instead of giving into the will of myself. I chose to say “yes” to God and “no” to my fears.
And as I gazed into His heart, my fists unclenched, and my spirit open to His desires, I heard:
Soli Deo Gloria.
Those three words are the only exact ones out of the entire conversation that I remember, but the rest of our exchange is played out every Tuesday on my blog. God’s heart was to start a safe, encouraging on-line community for women where there isn’t pressure to be perfect or put together. He asked me to make space for vulnerability and truth and seeking. He asked that it not be about the quality of our words, but about the living out of The Word and all the joy, pain, frustration, and hope that it brings. He asked that it not be about me, but about Him, hence His title for the group, which means, in Latin, To God’s Glory Alone.
I truly believe that had I not surrendered my job as an adjunct professor at a local college, I would have missed out on the fullness of the blessing that Soli Deo Gloria is. Richness, I’ve found, cannot be measured solely in monetary terms, but we knew that already, didn’t we?
“Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” Deuteronomy 7:9
He is faithful. We will say “yes” to Him so that we may receive these faithful acts of love from our Father? Will we give infinite weight to that which is truly worthy or will we continue to trust in the things of this world?
Has God ever asked you to let go of something important to you?
Jen is passionate about Jesus and helping people to know how to walk intimately with Him. She has been married for 11 years to her husband, Craig, and they have two daughters, ages 7 and 6. You can find her blogging at Finding Heaven Today, and join her for the Soli Deo Gloria link-up.
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