What is a friend? Fundamental Truth and a Firm Foundation

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Yesterday I shared my personal friendship story. Today I'm going to share a foundational Truth of friendship. Something that should always be present, no matter what. Thursday and Friday I plan to share some characteristics to look for in a good, Godly friend...and some to avoid.

This list certainly isn't meant to be exhaustive. I would love for you to add to it in the comments so we can all benefit!



I was surprised last week after telling my tale of friendship woe. at how many of you really resonated with my story.

We've all been hurt.

Because we're human. And human's hurt people...sin.

But I was also pleasantly surprised at how many of you really have a good understanding of the number one characteristic of a Godly friendship.



Hold on to Truth. Choose it over the lie...over emotions...even over what you see with your own eyes...

Cause your heart is deceitful. But the Word of God stands forever.

My friend Kristi commented, "I've felt like this countless times... my whole life. Personally, I have arrived at the conclusion that part of this "I don't fit" thing is a lie that Satan loves to feed us. Like you've said, it causes us to hesitate to reach out. I've seen people purposely pull back from fellowship in the church body because of it - "I just don't fit; there's no one just like me." As they pull back, others begin to feel insecure - 'why aren't they coming as much? Maybe they don't like us?' ...and the lie continues to breed.

The Lie

You've heard me talk about secrets and how our shame over the less than perfect areas of our lives keep us bound up, unable to experience the joy of the Lord and His peace.

You may not look like anyone else around you. You may not sound the same as those around you, dress the same, walk the same or even think the same as those around you, but you are not alone.

Maybe you've read verses like Joshua 1:5, "...so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you," and thought...

"Well that sounds dandy."

But you don't believe it in your heart. Don't feel like God is with you...or even that it matters that much if He is.

A Choice

Feelings come and go. And the heart is deceitful above all else. I've learned, the hard way, that feelings lie. And my feelings of insecurity and inferiority are the very tools the evil one will use to kill, steal and destroy me. They're the secrets I have kept that keep me bound up at home, unwilling to step out into the light and make my heart vulnerable.

Have you decided, once and for all, that God's Word is true? I don't mean that you believe it sounds nice, or that bits and pieces apply to your life every now and then. I mean have you decided that the Bible is the revealed Word of God, absolute TRUTH upon which you can bet your life?

For the Christian, believing God's Word is a choice. So much of life is a choice. But the good news is that you have been given the power, from God, to choose Truth.

Over your emotions...

Over what others say...

Over your experiences...

Even over what you see with your own eyes.

Satan will lie to you. The ONLY reason he comes is to kill, steal and destroy. But you can choose to fight him with the same tool Jesus used when he was tempted in the desert...the Word of God.

Next time you're tempted to believe the lie that you don't fit in, fight back! And say...

"IT IS WRITTEN..."

Next time you're scared to be vulnerable...scared to let others see the real you, fight back! And say...

"IT IS WRITTEN..."

Next time you feel alone and that no one understands, fight back!

Because IT IS WRITTEN!

The Word of God is true friends. Pick one issue that you're dealing with in your life right now. How can you fight back and say, "IT IS WRITTEN?"

A friendship story

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Last week we talked about the pain that can be caused from friendships and how it's hard to be a woman . Some are intentional, some are not. Some things we mourn and others we regret in our friendship stories.

This week I'd like to focus on what actually makes a good, Godly relationship. All week I'll be sharing from the Word on the issue of friendship. I hope you'll hang out with me and let me know what you think.

Today, I want to share one of my most treasured friendship stories with you.

I was 20 when I made a serious, life-transforming commitment to Christ. If you look back in the records of the church I grew up in you'll see that I was saved and baptized at age nine. I've been asked whether I was saved at nine or 20 and my reply is often that I really don't know...and I don't care.

I am now.

Within a year I had broken up with a serious boyfriend, gained the one who would be The One, and graduated from college. The next step? Graduate school.

With a spring in my step and a new-found commitment to Christ I shocked everyone I loved and moved to Lynchburg, VA to attend graduate school at Liberty University. My degree? A Masters in Professional Counseling...yes sir, I was going to conquer the world for Jesus and help hurting people along the way.

The Prayer

I knew that I would need help...




So before I left for Lynchburg I bowed my head and asked God for just one thing...

"God, please send me a friend. Not just any old friend, but a kindred spirit Lord. Someone who is stronger in her faith than I am who can help me in this journey and challenge me to follow hard after You."

I met her the very first day of class.

The Meeting
I spent $900 on books that first semester. On a stack of books. Oh. My. I stood in line at the craziness they called a bookstore and pondered the deep issues of life, like how I could manage to saw off my arm before arriving at check out and whether or not they would accept it as payment.

In a brief break from my ponderings I looked up to see that a girl from one of my classes was standing directly in front of me. I recognized her immediately, but did I say hello? Nope. Cause I just don't talk to strangers that much. I'm part hermit I think. But thankfully, the girl in front of me was part social butterfly.

She turned right around, looked me in the eyes, and because her arms were also full of books, flashed me a big smile and said, "I know you! We have a class together! My name is Heather, what's yours?"

History
She was, is, the answer to my prayer. The very first day of school God answered the prayer of a scared little girl...His little girl...and gave me a bosom buddy.

We clicked immediately and were inseparable for the remainder of my time at Liberty. We shared an apartment and shared our lives...our victories and failures...secret desires. She spoke into my life truth and opened my eyes to a whole new world of faith in Christ and tenderly covered me in prayer when I needed a friend. I love her so much.




And I'm so thankful to the Lord for bringing her into my life at just the right time.

So what about you? Do you have a friendship story? If not, have you ever considered asking God to bring you the right friend at the right time? My simple prayer opened the door to a life long friendship. We don't always agree and we've had our spats, but she is the forever kind of friend...I just know it.

If you are looking for a friend, praying for a friend like I did all those years ago, God hears you. He sees you, knows you and loves you. And tomorrow, we'll be talking about what to look for in a friend. Stay tuned.

Big, Bad, Wolf - Friday Funnies

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The Big, Bad, Wolf

I haven't told a Friday Funny in a while...so I thought I'd start off your weekend with a laugh!

We've just recently started reading fairy tales to our children. And one of their immediate favorites was, "The Three Little Pigs." Imagine this:

Mommy and two little boys snuggled up in the big green chair read about...




"Hooooooowwwwwllll" goes daddy from the bathroom, his perch during this particular story time (and littlest nearly jumps out of the chair).

Since that first reading, my littlest has been obsessed with the Big Bad Wolf (BBW). There have been BBW sightings all over, most noticeably in his bedroom and in our car. Whew...that guy gets around!

In order to deal with the BBW sightings, my little guy has now officially dubbed himself the "Baby Big Bad Wolf" (BBBW) which apparently gives him some type of authority over the bigger version.

His latest issue concerning this large, hairy animal that eats defenseless, albeit disobedient, animals, is the fact that we, in fact, do not live in a brick house.




The other day, my littlest and I were out running errands together. And, as usual, the subject of the BBW came up. We chatted for a while about his BabyBBW powers to send the BBW away and "take care of him" when all of a sudden his little two year-old mind made a beeline for the most interesting display of compassion I've ever heard.

"Mommy! Gaggy and Nonna (my parents) live in the woods!!"

Yes sweetie, they do.

"Mommy! Are Gaggy and Nonna safe?"

Sure sweetie, of course they're safe.

"But Mommy! Is their house bu-wick (brick)? De Bid Bad Wup (Big Bad Wolf) will get dem! Call dem Mommy! Call dem!"

I nearly wrecked the car. In his little mind, his precious grandparents...well, let's just say if they didn't live in a brick house...

They were compromised! And something had to be done!

Don't you just love how little imaginations run wild? The end of the story is that indeed, Nonna and Gaggy DO live in a brick house...so they're safe. The greater problem is still how to help him understand that he is safe in his OWN house, which has no brick to be seen.

My husband suggested this solution: Daddy has a gun.

I think it will work for a while.

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For more Friday Funnies hop over to

Storytelling

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I have a story.

And I don't know how to share it.




I've promised the real and now I'm struggling with the real. This story? I've shared it so many times one on one. In many ways it defines so much of me. It is intimately connected to my salvation, my restoration and redemption.

But it involves others. And I need to find a way to express it in a way that both respects the other AND respects my calling to share it.


So I'm asking for your help.

Help me be creative. Share your insight from baring "the real."

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I know I promised a "Godly Girl's Guide to Friendship" today. But "the real" of the situation is that I'm just not ready to share it yet. Thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions, rules and opinions...they are helping so much! Look for a completion of this topic next week! Thank you so much for understanding.

In Need of Change? Praying for You by Name

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I'm taking a break from our friendship series today to pray for you by name.



When I watched my vlog I realized that I forgot to share my prayer need with you! I have something on my heart to share with you...in story form. But I'm struggling to do it. I've promised the real here at A Life in Need of Change...and now I'm struggling a bit with the real. It's a story that affects others so I need wisdom to know how to share it in a way that doesn't hurt anyone. Can you pray for me in that? Thanks friends.

How can I pray for you today? Leave a comment letting me know and I'll be lifting you up by name...

Broken Friendship

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Yesterday we talked about how, as women, we struggle with our friendships and I was pretty amazed to see that many of you have struggled the same way I do. Yea...It's hard to be a woman.

Some of the comments that resonated most with me were:

"I know how much I'm worth to God, but it is still hard to constantly feel like I just don't connect. I analyze every little thing and wonder what they meant by it, what they thought of me... "

"My desire is for my daughters, and for me, to have true sisters in Christ. And leave the Best status for Him."

"Personally, I have arrived at the conclusion that part of this "I don't fit" thing is a lie that Satan loves to feed us."

Lost Friendship

I have to confess. As I read through some of your comments yesterday I realized that my story seemed very one-sided. I told the tale of my hurt...but I left out hurts I have caused.

There was another childhood friend that I hurt very deeply. And we've never gotten past it. I'm not going to tell you the whole story because she hasn't given me permission to share it.

Several years of mishandling a close relationship on both of our parts caused a major riff. I allowed minor offenses to build up for years...then exploded all over her. Basically took all of the ick in my heart and threw up on her.

She was rightfully taken aback. She had no idea that I felt the way I did. I blamed her for everything and took no responsibility for my feelings...or my actions.

And in the process I lost a friend that was dear to me. We've tried to make up once or twice, but it hasn't worked. And this leaves me so sad.

I wasn't a good friend to her in so many ways. I'm not sure I knew what a good friend was or that when a good friend does something wrong it can be fixed then and there instead of holding it in. When she offended me, I didn't tell her. When she hurt me, I didn't tell her. I let it go on for years and never said a word. And when I couldn't take it anymore I verbally attacked her and then wouldn't even answer her calls.

Let me be clear. I'm ashamed of my actions. Eleven years have gone by since it happened. Eleven years without someone who was, at one time, so dear to me.

The rules

I know I was wrong. I've asked for forgiveness. I wish I could go back and undo what I did...

Time has gone by. And I'm lead to this question:

What should Godly friendships look like between women?

I would love your opinions as I work this out this week. I'll be taking a break tomorrow to pray for you by name...so get your prayer requests ready! But Thursday I hope to post the "Godly Girl's Guide to Friendship." If you have a rule or opinion that helps you, please let me know...I might include it in my set of rules...and I need all of the help I can get!

It's hard to be a woman

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It's hard to be a woman.

Isn't it?

We're catty, fickle and we change our mood as often as we change our...well...you know.

All my life I've longed to have a group of close female friends. You know like the ones you see in the movies?




I've longed to be known by a group of women who knew the real me and loved me anyways. But it just hasn't been God's will for me. I have a few friends that I consider to be my "best" friends but we are all very different and if you put us all in a room together I'm not sure everyone would get along. Then there's this one friend (if you're reading you know who you are) that was a literal answer to prayer. I'll tell you about her sometime...

But I have never had a group of buddies.


Left Out

When I was a little girl I had a very best friend. We were inseparable...spent every waking second together. I loved her so much and, maybe more importantly, I loved that she loved me. It was almost as if we belonged to each other.




But then another friend entered the picture. And things changed. Somehow the two of them started liking each other more than they liked me. And I ended up getting left out a lot.

The pain of that has stuck with me for a lifetime. That rejection makes it difficult for me to pick up the phone and ask a girlfriend to meet for coffee...maybe she'll say she already has plans with another friend she likes better. That rejection makes it hard for me to keep trying in friendships because in my heart I believe the end result will be the same...there's always another woman out there that she'll like better. And I'll get left behind.

It's hard to be a woman...at least it is for me.

On Loyalty

Over the last few years I've learned that I'm a very loyal person. Or maybe just that I expect loyalty from others.

I think things mean more to me than they do others. I remember things that others forget. All of life seems to be worth remembering to me...writing down...scrutinizing...analyzing.

When I feel that a friend doesn't want to invest in me the same worth I tend to pull away. And I'm nine years old all over again.

The Plan

A string of recent events has brought me to that place all over again. Except this time I'm choosing to pause and look inside my heart for a moment. I've asked the Lord why this keeps happening. Why He allows it over and over. Why I have to be hurt by things that probably weren't intended to hurt. And even if I have reason to take offense, why I let things get to me so easily.

It's probably because I think more highly of myself than I ought...

I want to belong somewhere. Be known somewhere. Be loved somewhere. Not overlooked. Not left out. Not a stepping stone or a "yea we were close once."

Cause it hurts to think that someone you felt connection with likes someone else better.

I find it hard to be a woman...

But it's His plan. For me at least, it's His plan. And I think it's because He wants me to feel the pleasure of His attention.

He says to me, "My love You belong to Me. You always have, you always will. I bought you at great price so much did I long for relationship with you. I know you better than you know yourself. I made your heart and I speak it's language better than anyone else because it's the language I created just for us. I prepared a way for you to be grafted in, included in my plan before time and I will never leave you. You are not a means to an end for Me. You are the object of my affection and I have not overlooked you, but provided for your greatest need.

And somehow...the knowing this is worth so much more...

Have you ever felt this way? Can you relate to my story? Has God showed you how much you're worth to Him?

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Need books and resources to help you change? Check out my list of favorites

In Need of Change? Book and Resource Recommendations

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I often get requests from my readers wanting to know what book I'm currently reading or what resource they can buy that will help them in their current situation.

Below is a list of my favorite resources for a variety of needs. If you have a book you'd like me to review and place on this list please let me know, but be aware that I take the content and theology of the books I promote very seriously. Unless otherwise noted the books I recommend here are sound resources.

Enjoy! Disclaimer: I do get a (very) small commission from your purchase of these books and resources from this site.

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The best counseling book ever written and the book whose title and content this entire blog is based on. Anything written by this author is wonderful. Useful for lay and professional counselors alike as well as challenging for all Christians in need of change.



Undoubtedly the book that has the most impact on my understanding of God's plan for marriage.



A beautiful book written from a man's perspective. As women, how do we best influence our husbands and ambassador Christ in their lives?



I haven't read this book yet, but everything Gary Thomas has written I have found useful and Biblical.



I received this book from a friend after hearing Leslie lecture to a group of Crisis Pregnancy Center leaders and volunteers. It discusses a model for spiritual growth and renewal based on Biblical teaching.



Prepare to be challenged in your thinking about mental disorders and their origins. I find this book to be wonderfully thorough from both a Biblical and scientific perspective.



A challenging book that will help you understand the Biblical role of men and women. Challenges traditional evangelical feminism.



The most in-depth, challenging look at the heart of addictions I've ever seen. This will be a blessing to those struggling with major addictions such as alcoholism and drug addictions as well as those "more minor" addictions like over-eating.



Learning how our fear of man can hinder us in following after God.



The book upon which my husband and I have based our parenting style.



A newly released follow-up to Tedd Tripp's book above. This includes wisdom from his wife, Margy.



A book we're all probably familiar with detailing the power of praying specifically for our children.



A proven plan to help you get out of debt and reclaim financial peace.



For help healing from abortion. Sydna is a friend of mine and a friend to crisis pregnancy centers all over the world.



A poignant look at how women are affected and changed by abortion. Warning: You won't be the same after reading this book.



A challenging and uplifting look at depression. The best book out there on the subject through the lens of Scripture.





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Some Electronics I Love!!

The video camera I use to make my vlogs on A Life in Need of Change!

How to Make Husband Happy

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"How to make husband happy...how to make husband happy...how to make husband happy..."

I have to confess. I don't usually sit around thinking about how to make my husband happy. Sure, there are days when blessing my husband is on my mind, but with a part-time job in ministry, two little rambunctious boys, writing, homeschooling, fiddle lessons (yes...I said fiddle...we're from the South)...whew...I just got worn out writing all of that stuff...much less doing it all!

Who knows what I'm talking about? Show of hands?

Getting left out

I'm afraid that all too often my precious husband, who is such a blessing to me, anchors my to-do list instead of heading it up.















For the rest of today's post head over to my guest post on Today's Housewife.


Oh...and the winner of my giveaway from Tuesday is the lovely Sandy from Daily Learning as a Special Ed Teacher! Congrats Sandy! Please contact as soon as possible!

Prayer for Lent

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(Yea...I'm an "ummer." I'll be working on that...still in need of change!)



Dust.

From dust we came. To dust we will return. I've seen the dust return twice in too short a time.

But now, after the dust has settled and the sign of the cross has been made a prayer has formed on my lips.

A prayer for lent. A prayer from lent.

A prayer from the dust.

"Lord from the earth you created man. In Your perfect image yet so tainted now we are with sin.

Have mercy on us, Lord.

Never able to measure up I fall time and again, not able to produce even one good thing from my righteousness. Apart from You, we can do nothing.

We confess to You, Lord.

Perfection sent to a humble estate, a passion to walk out, drag through...all for me. You who had no sin BECAME sin and gave me Your righteousness, all for love.

Accept our repentance, Lord.

How do you plan to remember Christ this Lenten season? Do you have a prayer to share?

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Are you sharing in our Year of Prayer at A Life in Need of Change? If so, please don't forget to go link up and share your experience thus far for a chance to win some lovelies from my friend Kerrie of Silly Frilly Kids. The McKlinky closes tonight at 10 PM (EST) and I will announce a winner on tomorrow's blog!

Celebrating Lent with Children

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It's an honor to introduce you to an IRL (In Real Life) friend of mine, Jamie Soranno, for today's guest post.

Jamie is an amazing mother of two and just started homeschooling her little girl, Ida (don't you love that name?) this year. She has been a treasure of information for me. Her only fault? She doesn't know how amazing she is! You can follow her creative and inspiring writing at Blogging with Mommy.

Today, Jamie will be sharing with us some of her ideas, and those she has gleaned from others, about incorporating the season of Lent into her family life. I hope you find it as encouraging as I do!

In her words...

I love reading Brooke's blog. Not once have I left her blog feeling anything but uplifted and encouraged. So when she asked me to share some Lenten ideas, my first reply was to tell her I couldn't do it. And in my usual lengthy and rambling style email to Brooke, she pointed out that I had indeed already begun to write a post. So with some revisions and a prayer that I might share something worthwhile with Brooke's readers, I agreed. And I must admit, guest blogging is quite fun. Almost like a visit with a dear friend.



I struggle with Lenten activities for my children.

For Advent, I have more ideas than we can fit into the month of December. But each year, I practically panic in trying to come up with a way to teach my children the beauty of Lent. As a child being raised Catholic, I saw Lent as tiresome and depressing--we couldn't eat meat on Friday, we had to give up candy or sweets, and we often went to Stations of the Cross. Not at all bad things. But I want so much more for my family.

So my goal is not only to teach them and help them prepare their hearts, but to have them find the beauty in Lent as well. Because now that I'm older and have accepted Jesus as my Savior, I simply see Christ's love for us--for ME--and it makes me love him more as we go through Lent.

But how to get that across to little ones?

Last year, I came up with forty activities that my then five-year old Ida did without complaint. But I don't think it sank in. It became another (gasp) to-do in our daily routine. And although I like the idea, I believe it's more appropriate for older children. So we will revisit it again when both Ida and John are older.

So this year, as Ash Wednesday approaches, we're doing what we always try to do with holidays, seasons, celebrations, and just our day-to-day life: SIMPLIFY. Yet I still find myself worrying that I won't get the message across. My little ones often need the help of something concrete to help them to grasp a concept.

Ahhhh, thank goodness for the Internet. I found three ideas that I really liked. My husband and I sat down and discussed which, if any, would be age appropriate and, more importantly, which would help our family grow in God's love during the next forty days. Two we had to put on the back burner for when our children are older. That left us with one new idea to incorporate. Lenton Prayer Pots. All it takes is a clay flower pot and a few symbols. If you are really creative (unlike me), you and your family can make your own clay pots. We'll be using the basic idea from here, adapting it slightly to fit our family's beliefs.

As we go through Lent, we'll find Scripture to be read each time we place something in our prayer pot. We will also incorporate two ideas from previous years, the popular Resurrection Eggs and the making of our Resurrection Biscuits. Both were a huge hit with our children last year. And both were easy teaching tools.

OK...so I have a plan. I'm ready. My husband is ready. There's even a flower pot sitting on my pantry shelf. But I want to get to the hearts of my children.



How do I get to their precious hearts?

I'm thinking I could do countless activities and their hearts could still possibly remain untouched. So I'll turn their hearts over to God. I will pray for my children. I will pray with my children. And I'll leave the rest to God.

Pots, eggs, and biscuits are all wonderful tools. But prayer is the only way I am assured my children's hearts will be open to and accepting Christ. For only God can move in them. We,as their parents, simply help along the way.

May your Lenten season be filled with blessings.

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Wow Jamie! Thank you so much for that reminder that parents can only do so much in the lives of their children. For it is God Himself who turns hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).

What about you? How do you incorporate the Lenton season into your life?

For more tips visit Kristen at We Are THAT Family.

Teach Me How to Pray

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Checking in today...oh...and there might be a giveaway at the end.



At the beginning of the new year I shared my plans to pray for my children every day in 2010. I wrote a personalized prayer for them based on scriptures I believe the Lord laid on my heart that would minister to their needs.

Many of you joined me in this quest and I am so excited that we can share in it together. But it's been a while now and I feel the need to check in and see how everyone is doing.

Honestly, it hasn't been an easy commitment for me to keep. I printed out two copies of my prayer, one for each child, and taped them to their bedroom doors. Later, I plan to frame one of them and hang it on an empty wall we have upstairs. My hope is that I will do this every year and some day have a wall full of prayers for my children).

Each night, before I go to bed, I lay my hands on their doors and pray this prayer for them.



I almost have it memorized!

But I promised to be real at A Life in Need of Change, right?

So I have to tell you that while I have managed to pray this prayer for them each night, there are times I just don't want to do it. GASP! Yes, you read right...there are nights I don't feel like praying for my children.

* Attitudes wear on me
* Too much screaming
* Just too tired
* Would rather read a book or write a blog post
* The list is endless

There are so many things in life that threaten to pull me away from my responsibility as a mother. And I find myself wondering if this struggle to pray for them daily isn't symbolic of a bigger heart issue:

I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

Ugly, I know. But true.

I get so much comfort out of knowing I've covered my children each day. It's a legacy I will leave them long after I'm gone. Yet still I battle with laying down my life to pick up those blessings the Lord has placed in it.

I'm pressing on...looking ahead with vision for the future. There's simply not much that is more important to me in this life than asking the Lord to direct my children's paths, cover them with His grace, keep them from the evil one...

So how's it going for you?

Let's share and encourage each other this week. Starting today I will be giving you a chance to link up a post of your own sharing how the Lord is meeting you as you pray for your children each day. What are some of the struggles you've faced? Victories? Share them all.

If you're reading this post for the first time and would like to start now in this prayer project please feel free to write a prayer for them in a post and share it with all of us by linking up below. Be sure to grab my button on the left-had side of this blog and post it on yours so we can hold each other accountable.

The MckLinky will be open until Thursday night (2/18/10) at 10 PM. Your post linked up is your chance to win a set of these darling clippies from my friend Kerrie of Silly Frilly Kids.



...a close-up of the ribbon...



Aren't they beautiful? Perfect for Easter!

Now...Get to writing friends! And get reinvigorated about the high calling of praying for your children! Be sure to come back and link up when you're done for your chance to win!

Set Apart for God

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Today (I'm writing on Sunday)I had the most beautiful experience of my life.

A moving sermon...we are set apart.

Today is the day, the shepherd says. Come forward, let us pray for you, anoint your head with oil. Make the profession today that you are set apart.

An invitation to the entire body...not just those professing faith for the first time.

My beautiful husband on the prayer team walks forward and steps behind the rail...waits for the flock to come. And I am drawn to him, just like the first time our eyes met.

In the midst of others, believers and now-believers alike, the entire congregation rising I walk to him, first in line and look into his eyes.

They moisten...

He takes the anointing oil...forms the shape of my salvation on my forehead and gently pulls me to him.

He prays the blessings of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit over his beloved, his bride.

And I have never felt closer to him...the one flesh union...as I do in this moment.

He prays for me, for our children, for himself and asks our Father...the one who keeps us bound tightly...to bless us and keep us and make His face shine upon us.

His hands on my head, mine on his...cheek to cheek, tears mingled.

I love this man now more than ever.

And we are set apart.

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Because life sometimes distorts our vision, it's so important to stop and look deeply into our memories to remember the ggood, the sweet, the passionate.

What is the sweetest memory you have of you and your significant other?

God's faithfulness through suffering

OBVIOUSLY I'M HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES ON MY BLOG TODAY. THANKFULLY, THE CONTENT OF TODAY'S POST CAN STILL BE FOUND BELOW. SIFT THROUGH PLEASE? AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AS I WORK WITH MY DESIGNER TO FIX THIS PROBLEM.

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Today I would like to introduce you to a new bloggy friend of mine, Tyra, from My Many Musings.

In her words:
I'm a constant work-in-progress. Wanting to learn new things and change the parts of me that need it. Christian, wife and stay-at-home mom are the words that describe me best..and I wouldn't change that for anything!

I just love Tyra! And I know you will too. Please give her a hearty welcome today as she shares a little of her testimony of God's faithfulness.

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Learning that He's Faithful...

I have to admit that when Brooke asked me to do a guest post on her blog I was both excited and nervous all at the same time! Then I begin wracking my brain for what in the world I would write about. But after taking time to pray about it (and calm my over-anxious mind somewhat) I felt like the Lord just kept impressing my heart with some of the things He's been showing me in the past few months. So I want to share a little of my story with you today about what all God has brought me through and how I'm learning to see His faithfulness in my life every day....and how it was really there all along even when I couldn't see it!

I was raised very conservatively as a preacher's daughter. But unfortunately although my parents kept me from so many things in the world, they didn't protect me from one of the worse things that can happen to a child. Because not only was my grandpa allowed the opportunity to molest me at the age of about 6, but I was the one made to feel wrong in the situation and it was totally ignored and hidden for years.(although in all fairness, my mom was very upset about it at first but chose to submit to my dad who would neither accept it or do anything about it) Any of you who have experienced child abuse yourself or know someone who has, can understand the affect it has on you even if dealt with properly. But for it to happen and then never be explained or confronted and the child be forced to continue a relationship with the very one who caused her pain and even be made to feel guilty for not wanting to, is a hurt beyond belief. I lived in confusion and had so many questions throughout the years, but was never able to voice them or find help since I'd quickly learned that reaching to those I was supposed to be able to trust didn't do any good anyway. Needless to say, this caused so many difficulties in my relationship with the Lord as well and I struggled with my doubts and fears in serving someone who allowed things like this to happen, even after accepting Him into my heart at age 10.

And the craziest thing is, no one else ever knew how I felt. I had learned so well to pretend things were fine even when I was dying inside that everyone I was around just assumed my life was as it seemed. I actually had people treat me so badly because they were jealous of the life and family they thought I had. And the whole time all I could think was, if you only knew. But then again I also had a tremendous amount of guilt for thinking that I didn't have the perfect life or feeling that my parents were wrong. All in all, I was pretty much a crazy mixed-up mess.

By the time I'd reached the age to be able to get married I was convinced that was the best thing I could do.....and the sooner the better! I mean, moving away from home had to be better than what I had been dealing with for so long, right? (I'm sure some of you are laughing at how naive that statement was!) And I soon found that out for myself. Not that I didn't love the man I married, but I didn't take the time that I should have to deal with some problems I started seeing he had in his own life that would greatly affect our lives together in the future because I was so determined to just try something different. Most people jokingly comment on how the honeymoon doesn't last past the first year, but I can honestly say that I never experienced one at all. ( I know that sounds sad, but it's entirely true) Because those 'little' problems that I chose to ignore and think would work out themselves in time, escalated so quickly and so greatly that it caused major trouble between us from the very first.

For me to realize that my husband was choosing to betray me in what felt like to me the same way as the other people in my life had was more than I could take. My body and mind literally shut down and I became sick and depressed to the point of almost not being able to function. Add to that me realizing more fully the extent of what my grandpa had done and finally trying to stand up for myself about it, the dysfunctional relationship I still had with my parents, having two children only 21 months apart who both had major health problems themselves, finding out my husband had lied to me over several things throughout the years and...well, my life was basically a wreck. Then in the middle of it all I would go back and forth between wanting to seek God and have fellowship with Him because I needed Him so much, but at the same time feeling so angry towards Him and like there was no point in even trying.

There's so many more things I could talk about that have happened over the years, but suffice it to say that I didn't feel like there was anything faithful about the God I had known all these years and was supposed to be serving. And I definitely didn't feel that I could trust Him with anything since He'd so obviously let me down so many times already. The anger, bitterness, and resentment I allowed to build up inside of me became more than I could stand. And it wasn't just affecting me, but my family as well. I got to a point where I was so miserable and knew that something had to give. I started praying that God would just help me and change me because I couldn't do it myself. And although you'd think that someone who'd been ignored and treated bad as I had done Him so many times wouldn't have had mercy and answered those prayers, the grace that He begin to bestow on me and how quickly He was to forgive and love me was nothing short of amazing. Even in the midst of all my doubts and questions and unfaithfulness!

He's showed me so many things and helped me in many ways over the past few months. But nothing has been greater than Him just speaking to my heart and gently teaching me to trust Him. And showing me that through all those years of hurt and confusion and the times that I pushed Him away in my pain, that He never gave up on me. That just because I couldn't see it for all the sin and mistakes that were made by humans, it didn't mean He wasn't always faithful. I still have so far to go in healing from the past and there's many, many things I still need His help with, but He's proven to me time and time again that He's not going anywhere. That His love for me is unconditional and that I can just rest in Him even when everything else around me is falling apart.

So I want to thank Him today for being faithful in my life. And that even though He might not have stopped all the bad things from happening, He can still use them for good if I choose to let Him. And I pray that by sharing some of this today with you I might have started doing that. I'm learning every day that the God I serve really does want what's best for me and that fact means more to me than I can say. I wish I could share with you all the prayers He's answered in my life just recently! But I'll just close with this verse from Ephesians that's been on my heart the past few days. "Unto Him who is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask or even think...." Isn't it wonderful to know a God like that? I just can't praise Him enough for who He is!

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Isn't she beautiful...inside and out? Thank you Tyra, for sharing your heart today.

Now...go check out Tyra's blog, My Many Musings.

And tell us...How has the Lord been faithful to you?

No Ordinary God

OBVIOUSLY I'M HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES ON MY BLOG TODAY. THANKFULLY, THE CONTENT OF TODAY'S POST CAN STILL BE FOUND BELOW. SIFT THROUGH PLEASE? AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AS I WORK WITH MY DESIGNER TO FIX THIS PROBLEM.

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Tuesday we began talking about the difference between being satisfied and being content.

We compared the words of this song:



...to the words of Paul in Philippians 4:11 & 12

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content, I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."

So how can we be content, and yet not satisfied?

Sometimes I look at my life...my work...and I wonder if I'm making a big enough impact. Have you ever felt that you're accomplishments are just a drop in the bucket? Like there is so much more to be done and not enough time to do it all in?

Sometimes I look at my bank account...and the people around me wearing their status in the form of expensive jeans and high-priced cars, luxurious vacations and perfectly manicured nails...and I wonder what life would be like with those things.

Sometimes I look at my marriage...and the people around me who seem to be getting it right all the time. Perfect submission, perfect leadership, a message of perfect union showing the world a picture of Christ. And I wonder what message my husband and I send to the world.

Sometimes I look at my children...and the people whose little ones are grown. And I wonder if I'll ever get there? When will I see the fruit of my parenting labors?

Sometimes I'm not content with what I have. I want more.

And then I remember "the more" that has already been given to me. And I hear my Savior whisper into my ears, "What do you need that I haven't already given to you daughter?"

And I know what He means.

He gave me Himself.

If Jesus never met another need you have, would the gift of His body...His blood...be enough?

Is it enough that He traded His righteousness for your sins? Is it enough that He bore them to Calvary? Is it enough that you are forevermore declared innocent because He took your guilt?

All of these longings for blessing...

"Open up the sky! Fall down like fire! We don't want blessings, we want You."

...pale in comparison to the blessing of just knowing Him...being graced by His salvation...

No, His salvation is nothing ordinary. He is nothing ordinary.

Being content is not settling for the ordinary. No...being content is knowing that our extraordinary God is in control and that the way to more and more of Him is to chose Him (and obedience to Him) in the place where He has us.

Knowing that obedience teaches us to trust Him more...

...and to trust Him more we must love Him more. And to love Him more...

Is to be content.

If Jesus never met another need you have, would the gift of His body...His blood...be enough?

Need Prayer - Praying for you by name

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Prayer.

I don't profess to understand everything there is to know about it. Sometimes I wonder what the point is. If God is sovereign then why bother? But deep in me, I know that just communing with my Father is like breathing...I need it to live. So whether or not I understand how it works, or why it works, I know it does.

And I'm thankful.

Today friends, as we walk with Him together, I'd like to have the honor of praying for you by name.





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This post can be found linked to

Not content? Open up the sky.

Thank you for stopping by A Life in Need of Change today. Please consider subscribing for free updates and emails!

Tuesday we began talking about the difference between being satisfied and being content.

We compared the words of this song:

...to the words of Paul in Philippians 4:11 & 12

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content, I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."

So how can we be content, and yet not satisfied?

Sometimes I look at my life...my work...and I wonder if I'm making a big enough impact. Have you ever felt that you're accomplishments are just a drop in the bucket? Like there is so much more to be done and not enough time to do it all in?

Sometimes I look at my bank account...and the people around me wearing their status in the form of expensive jeans and high-priced cars, luxurious vacations and perfectly manicured nails...and I wonder what life would be like with those things.

Sometimes I look at my marriage...and the people around me who seem to be getting it right all the time. Perfect submission, perfect leadership, a message of perfect union showing the world a picture of Christ. And I wonder what message my husband and I send to the world.

Sometimes I look at my children...and the people whose little ones are grown. And I wonder if I'll ever get there? When will I see the fruit of my parenting labors?

Sometimes I'm not content with what I have. I want more.

And then I remember "the more" that has already been given to me. And I hear my Savior whisper into my ears, "What do you need that I haven't already given to you daughter?"

And I know what He means.

He gave me Himself.

If Jesus never met another need you have, would the gift of His body...His blood...be enough?

Is it enough that He traded His righteousness for your sins? Is it enough that He bore them to Calvary? Is it enough that you are forevermore declared innocent because He took your guilt?

All of these longings for blessing...

"Open up the sky! Fall down like fire! We don't want blessings, we want You."

...pale in comparison to the blessing of just knowing Him...being graced by His salvation...

No, His salvation is nothing ordinary. He is nothing ordinary.

Being content is not settling for the ordinary. No...being content is knowing that our extraordinary God is in control and that the way to more and more of Him is to chose Him (and obedience to Him) in the place where He has us.

Knowing that obedience teaches us to trust Him more...

...and to trust Him more we must love Him more. And to love Him more...

Is to be content.

If Jesus never met another need you have, would the gift of His body...His blood...be enough?

Not satisfied with life?

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I might be getting addicted to this vlogging thing...Just a warning!

Today we're talking about being satisfied? Are you?



So...are you satisfied? Content? What's the difference?

I'm NOT Crazy!!

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Technical Difficulties

Hi friends!

Obviously there is no new post up for today. I promise I do have one...and I love it! But I'm having technical difficulties trying to post it. So please give me grace as I try to figure out how to get it here.

Blessings for the day!

A Blizzard BlogHop!

My passion, and the reason for my writing, is helping women be real. I'm convinced that we keep secrets. Maybe our marriage is hurting. Maybe our children are acting out. Maybe we're not the kind of mom or wife we know God wants us to be...and we're constantly wondering...

What's wrong with me?

As I look back on my life it's crystal clear that the people who have had the most impact on strengthening my walk with Christ have been those who have been real. They've shared their struggles, their pain, the sorrow.

But they didn't stop there.

They allowed me to look into the closets of their lives where God was shining His light.

A secret has no power when it's brought out into the light.

My heart for the ministry God has called me to is that His light, shining upon the dusty areas of my life, might bring comfort to those who are experiencing the same thing. I want to be real and share with you how Christ is meeting me daily...hourly...in my rather imperfect life, giving me the strength I need to walk out this journey. This calling expresses itself in several different ways, all available to you.

* Freelance writing
* Speaker for Christian women's groups
* Bible study development
* Blogging/daily devotions for women at A Life in Need of Change

A personal word from me...

Welcome.mp3 by Brooke McGlothlin

Thank so much for stopping by today! I hope you come back again and again and consider subscribing so we can get to know each other better!

And join us in the Blizzard Blog Hop!

Leaving Messes

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For the next few weeks I'll be hosting one spotlight guest post per week here at A Life in Need of Change. Today, a familiar face...my dear friend Teri Lynne shares with us about leaving messes. Check her out at Pleasing to You. Follow her on twitter as @TeriLynneU.

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"It leaves a mess."

That's what I told her ..

about play-doh.
about finger paints.
about stickers.

Especially about stickers.

She wanted so badly to play with them.

Tempted by the bright colors.  By the ease of pulling them off the backing ... and pressing them onto something else.

"Paper," I told her.  "ONLY on paper."

"Yes, Mommy," she dutifully replied.

But soon putting them on paper didn't seem like much fun.

And so, she tried new places.

The baby doll cradle.

The window.

The inside of a closet door.

Sometimes they pulled off easily.  No mark.  No leftover sticky mess.

But sometimes ... they didn't.

Sometimes they left a mess ... just like I told her they would.

Genesis 2:16 - 17

But the Lord God gave him this warning: "You may freely eat any fruit in the garden except the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  If you eat of this fruit, you will surely die." (NLT)

"It will leave a mess,"  He told them.

Genesis 3:6 - 7

The woman was convinced.  The fruit looked so fresh and delicious, and it would make her so wise!  So she ate some of the fruit.  She also gave some to her husband, who was there with her.  Then he ate it, too.  At that moment, their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.  So they strung fig leaves together around their hips to cover themselves. (NLT)

 And what a mess it has made!!

Sin has left its sticky residue all over my life.

Sometimes others can't see the mess ... sometimes they can.

But it's there.

As my daughter has gotten older, she's beginning to grasp the wisdom of listening to my warnings about stickers.  She's had the clean up the mess more than once.

Am I listening, though, to the Father's warnings about sin?

What is sticky residue is in your life?  

How are you learning to listen to the warnings of the Father?

The Divine

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"Jesus himself warned his own generation that what they did in secret will be made manifest. All skeletons in all closets will be revealed. That is why we need to be covered. That is what redemption is all about - a divine cover-up. The last thing we would want to do is appear before God like Adam and Eve after they sinned, naked and uncovered." - RC Sproul*

They were naked and unashamed...a choice made...an entire human race fallen...

Now naked and uncovered. Exposed before a holy God who knows the secrets and intentions of the heart.

He makes the hidden things known.

He makes manifest those things that are living in darkness.

He Himself is the Light of the world.

And He knows your secrets...mine.

There is no hiding from the One whose eyes roam to and fro throughout the whole earth.

Still harder we try to cover up our secrets to save our shame from being made known.

But it's already known. There is no hiding.

Yet there exists a Divine Cover-up. A plan so beautiful it spreads a rainbow of light into the darkness and invites you to step out.

Into safety.

Into forgiveness.

Into redemption.

Divine Cover up by Brooke McGlothlin

*Quotes from RC Sproul's commentary on the book of Romans, "The Righteous Shall Live By Faith: Romans."

The Truth Stands

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We're taking a break from talking about secrets today to chat some about the truth. Cause if you don't know the truth...if you're not committed to the truth...there's nothing solid to turn to.

One of the hallmarks of the Christian life is that moment we realize that every single part of the Word of God is true, and then choose to act on that truth. Grief, heartache, regret and disappointment could so often be spared if we lived out that choice every day. I know I can’t simplify my life much more. The tasks my hands are laid to each day; mothering two small children, loving a man whose schedule makes us struggle to be connected, working part-time in non-profit ministry, writing that feeds my soul in hopes of feeding another’s, Bible study, the quest to get back into shape, responsibilities at home; are the simplified version of my life. Much prayer and a heart for wisdom have brought me to this point. But finding joy in the doing of these things simply means that I must trust God at His Word.

As I look ahead, my desire is simply to believe that God’s Word is true…and in every situation, to choose to live out that Truth.

How is that possible?

To read the rest of this post and find out how it's possible to live the truth every day, visit the February issue of Exemplify Magazine, pages 28 & 29.

And come back tomorrow for more talk about secrets...

The Walls Came Down

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A secret kept has tremendous power. The enemy of our soul uses our secrets to beat us down. But a secret released loses it's power.



This week I'm talking about secrets.

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

How should we respond to our spouses when they sin against us?

My own sweet husband and I went through a season in our marriage where it was difficult for me to know how to respond to him. An entire year of feeling like I was walking on eggshells...waiting for him to explode. I'm not sure what was going on in his heart or his head. But I do know that his job is extremely demanding and stressful and though he loves it, it drains him physically and emotionally. Couple his shift work with adding a new baby to the family just 23 months after the first, a mommy who was (at that time) working 4 days a week,and only getting to attend worship maybe two times a month and it's easy to see how things might have been a little volatile.

Anger had taken over our household. Stress, lack of sleep, revolving schedules and no consistent time with the body of Christ left him wondering where all of his dreams for a family had gone. Our home was not a place of peace and refuge. Screaming, crying and grumpy babies were the rule of the day. Dinner was (and honestly, sometimes still is) a war zone.

One Friday we had an explosion. I was trying to pack to leave for a retreat of all things, and had been running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done. He walked in from work to a mess. And the stress of the day trumped his ability to control his emotions.

He made demands.

I said he didn't love me.

And I told him I probably couldn't be the woman he wanted me to be. Just not possible.

And then my ride came...and I left. For the whole weekend. Just packed up my bags, walked out the door and didn't look back. I left the house a mess. I left the laundry unfolded. I left my marriage struggling.

And I walked into the arms of the Father.

The theme of that retreat was from Colossians 3:8-9;

"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth...you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self..."

It was like I had been pierced through the heart. In fact, I had...with the Word...The double edged sword...

"Put away anger...put away anger...have no part of wrath...put off the old..."

It's the Lord's kindness that leads us to repentance. It's out of the Lord's kindness that He leads us to repentance. Because I opened up that weekend, first to the power of the Holy Spirit, then to other Godly women, I received blessing and insight into the deepest part of my heart...where the anger slept.

I walked out of my home that weekend an angry woman. I was angry that my dreams hadn't come true...angry that the man I loved with all of my being could be so hurtful to me...angry that I was powerless to change him. Angry with myself because I couldn't control my anger (sheesh). And tired. So tired of trying to make everyone else think everything was ok when it wasn't.

I walked back into the very same home I had left two days earlier.

But re-entrance was sweeter. Because the walls came down I was able to realize how much fuel I was adding to the fire by always responding with anger. I came home with a fresh touch, encouragement from sisters in the faith and a fresh knowledge of His saving power...His power to move mountains...that He is mighty to save. Because the walls came down.

And I put away anger.

That which I had seemed uncontrollably drawn to before repulsed me now. That which overwhelmed me and took over my mouth before now made me ill. Because I had seen the truth through God's eyes. Anger kills.

And so I put it away.

Slowly...painfully slowly...I began to see change in my marriage. But the change started with me. I simply refused to act out of anger...I refused to speak out of anger. I simply put it away.

And I asked the Lord to show me clearly the way out in the event of temptation.

Two years went by with the major changes being mine alone. And then, one Sunday close to Christmas last year my husband had a revelation. I believe from the Lord.

It was during a sermon. And I could tell as I was listening that the words were piercing my husband's heart. I'm not convinced that my husband doesn't have adult ADD, so often does he struggle to sit still and listen. But this day the struggle was gone. And in it's place was absolute focus...and absolute conviction.

When the sermon was over he turned to me and with sweet humility asked me to pray for him. I sensed that it was bigger than that so I suggested that we go forward to ask for prayer. Hand-in-hand we walked forward and knelt. And when the pastor asked what he could pray for us my husband couldn't even speak. For what seemed like eternity he just wept. And then as he finally spoke, I wept.

"Please pray for me," he said, "I'm not the man I want to be. I'm not the father or husband I want to be. And I'm not the man of God I want to be. I need help. I need to confess my sin. And I need God to forgive me, restore me and give me the strength, desire and power to do it His way." (My interpretation...his words were so much sweeter)

A year has gone by since that time. And my goodness if I told you our marriage was perfect now I'd be lying. But it's better. And I'm trusting God to keep our eyes on Him as we walk forward.

You see I learned that the only person I can control...is me.

Anger by Brooke McGlothlin